Why Playing Small Helps No One – Especially Our Kids
BY DORTE BLADT
When my kids were younger — back when the days were full of school drop-offs, muddy shoes and endless snack requests — we had a running family joke. They used to tease me by calling me “world-famous.”
“World-famous chiropractor!” they’d laugh, giving me a hard time when I came home from teaching a seminar or presenting at a conference.
I always protested, of course.
“No, no,” I’d say. “I’m just a regular chiropractor who happens to love looking after kids.”
Looking back, I realise that I wasn’t just being modest. I was doing something a lot of us do — especially as parents, caregivers and people who pour our energy into helping others. I was playing small.
I was playing small.
Why Do We Do That?
Whether you’re a chiropractor, a parent or someone who works hard behind the scenes, many of us have picked up the idea that it’s better to stay quiet and not shine too brightly.
We don’t want to come across as arrogant.
We don’t want to make others uncomfortable.
We don’t want to take up space.
So we hold back. We doubt ourselves.
We don’t speak up, even when we know we have something valuable to share.
This is called impostor syndrome — a common experience where people feel like a fraud, even when they’re capable, skilled or successful.
And it’s surprisingly widespread.
A major review in the Journal of General Internal Medicine found that 82% of people experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives (1).
Women and those in caregiving or helping professions (like parents and chiropractors!) are especially likely to feel this way.
Another study showed that women are 33% more likely to downplay their achievements, even when their performance is equal to or better than men (2).
And in countries like Australia and the UK, we still deal with Tall Poppy Syndrome — the cultural pressure not to stand out too much, or risk being “cut down.”
The Cost of Playing Small
Here’s the problem: when we play small, we don’t just limit ourselves — we limit what we model for our children.
Kids don’t just hear what we say — they watch what we do. When they see us holding back, doubting ourselves or avoiding opportunities out of fear, they learn to do the same.
If we want our kids to believe in themselves, to speak up and to try new things, we have to show them what that looks like.
That doesn’t mean we need to be perfect or pushy or loud. It simply means trusting our voice. Honouring our values. Taking up space in the world with confidence and kindness.
A Gentle Reminder for You (and Me)
You don’t need to be famous to make a difference.
You don’t need to get it all right.
You don’t need to wait until you feel “ready.”
If you’re showing up for your family, doing your best and making thoughtful choices for your children’s health and wellbeing — you’re already doing something extraordinary.
So today, I’m reminding both of us:
Don’t shrink yourself to make others comfortable.
Speak up, even when it feels scary.
Let your children see what real courage looks like.
Final Thoughts
I still don’t think I’m world-famous (but I do travel the world teaching chiropractors about how to care for children) — and my kids, now grown and far more polite, know that too. But I am proud of the work I do. I’m proud of the difference chiropractic can make in the lives of children and families.
And I’m learning, still, not to play small. To stand tall, speak clearly and remind the people around me that their voice matters too.
Because the world doesn’t need more quiet, hidden brilliance. It needs real people — like you — who care deeply and act boldly.
Let’s stop playing small. Our kids are watching!
With heart,
Dr. Dorte Bladt
Chiropractor, Mother, Advocate for Kids’ Health
